How to deal with a fickle wedding planner, Stoic style

So, here is a different story, so just that we don’t talk about COVID-19 for a few minutes. Last year I got married. (Yes, the photo above is of yours truly with my then fiancee, Jennifer.) We had the ceremony secularly officiated by a friend of ours, and hosted by the New York Society for Ethical Culture, where I host my Philosophy Cafes and Stoic School. We had readings from philosophers (Plato’s Symposium) and literary authors (Jennifer is a Professor of English and creative writing), and my daughter, who had recently graduated summa cum laude and honors in philosophy (yeah, I know, don’t brag too much dad!) brought us the rings.

Nice, right? Except that with 16 days to go to the big event we were unceremoniously dropped by our wedding planner. The details are not important to this story, but let’s say that the person in question had behaved erratically all along, finally getting to the point of yelling at me on the phone simply because I reminded him (once more) that we were awaiting sample pictures of the flower arrangements. At that, I calmly stated that this was not professional behavior, and that I expected better, especially given the non inconsiderable sum of money he had already pocketed from us. He yelled some more and “fired” us. (So far, without returning the hefty sum in question.)

So here was the issue: Jennifer and I found ourselves the morning after, a bright and beautiful Saturday in Brooklyn, without a wedding planner. Which meant no flowers, no food for the guests, no cake, and no personnel to set up and run the event. And this was happening in New York City, a place that goes nuts for this sort of things, and where therefore, presumably, the chances of finding a new planner with such short notice were about the same as those of suddenly uncovering a lost copy of Zeno’s Republic.

How did we react to the sudden crisis? At the cost of publicly patting our collective backs, I’d say pretty darn well. And Stoicism helped. A lot.

To begin with, it shouldn’t be surprising that — when the planner was yelling over the phone — the first thought that came to my mind was:

“Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant…