Practical advice: should I leave my partner because of a medical diagnosis?
C. writes: I started dating my girlfriend last September and we got along well. However, in November, out of the blue, she contracted a mysterious illness. Her condition is not severe, but persistent. After seeing many doctors, she was diagnosed with having a chronic illness which has neither known causes nor effective treatments. Moreover, today, she was told by her gynecologist that she should avoid pregnancy in the future because of her age and her current illness. So she asked me quite frankly whether, given her situation, I still want to continue the relationship. She said to take the time and think it through. ‘Whatever you decide, I can take it and I will wish you well.’
To be honest, because we live in two different cities, I already got a bit tired of the long commute every weekend to see her before she fell ill. (Neither of us can move easily because of our jobs.) Now after being in a relationship for while, I can also see that I don’t have a strong urge to stay in it except perhaps for the reason of starting a family. But given my girlfriend’s illness, it’s not likely that we will be able to adopt children. There is also the issue of the restrictions her illness will impose on us. For example, she has stayed mostly at home since last November. So from a selfish perspective, I do not want to keep it going…
