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Should we not be disturbed by the death of a loved one?

An infamous passage in Epictetus’s Manual is the source of endless dismissals of Stoicism as ethical philosophy

Figs in Winter
13 min readAug 7, 2024
Image from medium.com/@JAMalichler, CC license.

Epictetus was a slave-turned-teacher who lived at the end of the first and beginning of the second centuries of the modern era. He influenced Marcus Aurelius, several Christian theologians throughout the Middle Ages, as well as a number of the Founding Fathers of the American Republic. Still today he is one of the towering figures in practical philosophy, and the one who hooked me into Stoicism. Yet, read the following passage and see how you react:

“When faced with anything you find attractive, useful, or lovable, remember to tell yourself what kind of thing it is. Start with the least important things. If it’s a jug you like, say, ‘I like a jug,’ because then you won’t be upset if it gets broken. If you kiss a child of yours or your wife, tell yourself that you’re kissing a human being, because then you won’t be upset if they die.” (Enchiridion 3)

Wait, what?? “You won’t be upset if they die?” What sort of psychopath writes that sort of thing? But Epictetus was not a psychopath. The little we know about his life includes an anecdote to the effect that in his old age he adopted an infant in order to avoid that the…

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Figs in Winter
Figs in Winter

Written by Figs in Winter

by Massimo Pigliucci, a scientist, philosopher, and Professor at the City College of New York. Exploring and practicing Stoicism & other philosophies of life.

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